


He knows.

by IdkWhatImDoingSendHelp



Category: Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: All aboard the clown train fellas, But then Oop a drastic change in tone, Cameo from the runaways, Ed suffers from catholic guilt which is very relatable, I love my blink and you'll miss it gay sons, I mention other characters, I miss my son wally west, I need to write a fic about them, M/M, See my end notes and tell me what you think about my idea, no beta we die like men, there is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdkWhatImDoingSendHelp/pseuds/IdkWhatImDoingSendHelp
Summary: Bart is fed up with everyone bringing Wally up everytime he gets a little injured.Ed never said in front of the adults that he was worried for Bart's safety for fear they would use that to make the team feel bad about their work..... until now. And Bart is NOT happy about it.EDIT: I do this thing with my fic where I dumb it on AO3 like a dumpster on fire, then come back to it to check if it's calmed down and edit a few things (grammar, couple of sentences that weren't proper english) and then one last time to had some more FEELINGS.Cause I want you to know Ed is whipped. So if you wanna read that again to have some more annoyingly long sentences about emotions and whatnot and feel those feels 👀.....Cause I went from 2300 words or smthg and now I'm at 3200 sooo





	He knows.

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw the Goldenfinch trailer 2 and there is this moment where the kid from Stranger Things kisses a kid who legit looks 8 but is really 14 and I read a quote from the book about that scene and I was inspired tm for Bart and Ed.  
> Everything that lead up to the kiss is just to create Tension tm. That's it.  
> EDIT: I came back again to add some more feels enjoyyyy
> 
> Put on your clown wigs and let's go.

Bart had enough. He couldn't count the number of times he had said he would be fine after the whole debacle with Luthor. He got _midly_ injured at best and yet everyone left and right kept reminding him of how it could've been worse.

He's from an apocalyptic future for God's sake!!! He's been through worse!! Everyone forgets that....

Expect Jaime. He doesn't forget. But he is the last person he wants to vent that to. He doesn't want to remind him of things he didn't really do. He never would have been in control anyways.

'Ugh' he's really feeling the mode right now. He's looking at the news in the couch in the Outsiders tower and he sees another Hot Take tm by some reporter on whether or not the Outsiders are being too brazen and if the Justice League should really let them run around and be super heroes like that. After all, they are underage. Bart is really annoyed. 

And he gets it okay? He really, _really_ does. But Jay throwing Wally in his face like that, soon after loosing his wife already, _in front of everyone_ , was not crash at all. It just made him feel guilty. Like he didn't really belong here, and the price for him to stay was Wally's life. It's stupid he knows, but he can't help feeling this way.

And he shook it off. Said 'I'll be fine' for the 36th time or something and left with everyone. He was so glad Ed stood up for the team like that. He looked really cool too. And his clap back are on par with Kaldur's honestly. 

Look, he's not stupid, he knew Eduardo had been worried. He's the one who rushed to get to him after all. But he stood his ground and had his back in front of the grown ups. A united front was better when opposition was gunning for you, after all.

That's why he doesn't understand him. He just doesn't. How can he do that mere days ago and then turn around and say _that_ , in front of everyone. In front of Barry! And Jay! And Batman!! He made him look like he had a death wish. Or that he wasn't painfully aware that he _could_ end up like Wally still. The mission was a couple of hours ago and Ed had gone with his dad to the centre while he came back, had a shower and changed. He was almost healed already! That outburst was for nothing! 

It drove Bart mad. It's frustrating to not understand what his friend was thinking. And the audacity he had of doing it like he did! He was so genuinely worried..... and the way he looked at him.... so.......... softly.......... like he was the one thing he couldn't _bear_ to loose............ It's not fair! 'Cause you can't argue against someone who looks at you like you hold the world like that. And _why_ was he looking at him like _that_ anyways....

Damn it!! Why did it make him feel like that! So...heartbroken....and frustrated.......

The speedster _really_ felt the mode right now. He kept bouncing his leg on the ground while having his arms crossed over his chest. Thinking about Ed confused him. It made him feel like he wanted to be vulnerable with him. He really, ah what's the word? _Longed_ for him. Yeah... He didn't really get why... and he really didn't understand why that damn _cowboy bee-bop looking guy_ would be such a turn coat so fast either.... 

Speaking of the devil. Eduardo was back from the center. He was in his hero costume still, although his jacket was open and he didn't have his fingerless gloves anymore. 'Shame' Bart thought. He really likes them. The hero could pull them off so well. His whole hero costume was cool actually. He only felt like his old scarf would be a great addition and make him look cooler. Like a ninja or something. Especially with his hair, straight out of those retro japanese anime Asami mentionned to him. Ahh What's the name of that hero from the one Asami makes Tye watch with her? Spike Spirberg? He'll have to ask her. Not when Tye is around though, he feels like he doesn't like him. He can deal with it but it's just intimidating sometimes.... He's pretty sure he heard him mutter "ugh this white boy" once....

Spacing out of his thoughts the red-haired noticed that Ed looks nervous. He should be. Bart is about to give him a piece of his mind. He doesn't get pissed often but he will now. That guy is really good at pushing his button without intending to and the speedster has some pent up frustration he'd like to sort out with him. 

And he barely has time to enter the room before Bart is in front of him.

"Ed! What the hell was that about earlier!"

He speed ran to the other side of the room to get in front of him, not too close, he doesn't want to get side tracked by the way he looks at him again. He needs distance from him. Physical distance. And emotional one too but he'll worry about that later.

Meanwhile, Ed looks uncomfortable. He can't meet Bart's eyes and worries his bottom lip with his teeth and damn it! Why is Bart getting distracted by that. He has to look somewhere, anywhere else !

The Argentinean was twiddeling his thumbs while looking at the ground. Looking in the ginger's eyes was too much at the moment. He didn't want him to see the regret in them right now. The shame he felt. For having an outburst in front of everyone to see, for spilling his feelings like that out in the open, for making Bart look like an idiot, for offering an argument the adults will dangle in front of their faces for a long time, for being so _vulnerable_. Even his dad noticed something was amiss this time around. He didn't mean to slip out so publicly but Bart's injury was a more serious than previous instance and no one managed to get to him on time. It painfully reminded Ed that they can't protect everyone, not even each other, and he just kept thinking about the speedster getting seriously injured and him not saving him on time and he just..... freaked out in front of everyone about it. Bart is just too fast! Even with his own power he can't always keep up. And there might come a day when Kid Flash will pay the price for his speed. Again.

Mission go sideways sometimes....

He knows that, Bart knows that, Barry, his dad, Jay, Batman..... they _all_ know that. 

But that doesn't mean he can just.... turn off his worries like that. And it's not fair. It's not fair for Bart to deal with his fears. He has to deal with everyone else constantly worrying about him and nagging him about it and Ed knows okay!? He knows Bart hates it. He knows it's just a selfish, controlling thing to dump all of your fears for someone else's safety like that on them and ask them to deal with it so you can stop worrying. He _knows_. He knows even if Bart listened to them it wouldn't change anything. Not really. They would still get worried and ask for more, and just fuel their anxiety on him while he wither away to humour everyone. But Ed knows Bart won't do that. That's not his style. He's from an apocalyptic future, after all.

And Ed sometime forgets that.

Bart isn't so lucky.

He can't meet his eyes.... Bart is asking him to explain himself. He deserves an explanation..... He knows why he did it. He knows why he freaked out. Why Bart's safety is so important to him. He _knows_ okay... And it's unfair to Bart. And it's selfish of him. Bart doesn't know but he wants to. Even after this he still wants to understand his actions. Give him a chance to explain. He can't help it but he loves that about him. He loves him. He didn't mean to fall for him.......and Tye teases him about it: "what is it with the two only latino guys in the team and this white boy? Even Virgil likes him" He doesn't get it but maybe if he got to know him he would see what Ed sees. Maybe if he gave him a chance and looked beyond the overly energetic act he would see _him_. He'd understand why Ed want to spend so much time with him, impress him with car games or join a group of hero. Bart makes him brave, it's a rush really, the kind you have when the you see something otherworldly, like the way Bart's green eyes turn darker forest when he saves someone, or light up when he sees food after a tough mission, the way he smiles when he makes a pun or the look he has when he sees something he never had in the future.... it's in the way he hugs everyone, like he can't get enough of it, the way his hair are tousled after a run, the flash of smile he gives you when he makes a joke only you can understand. He has a way to make people feel special, and appreciated, and loved. It's the crinckle in his eyes when he looks at _him_. Ed can't get enough of it. That's why he can't bear to loose him. That's why he's scared, because he's never known fear quite like the dread you feel when the person you gave your heart to is in harms way. But missions aren't the only way he could loose him, sadly. His feelings, the ones that make him feel so alive, the ones that pulls him toward Bart, the ones he loves to drown in because he'd never felt as happy as when he got to be near him..... these feelings might make his love turn away in distaste. 

How dim would Ed's life be if he were to never be able to bore into those gorgeous bright eyes of his, if he were to robbed of the way Bart looked at him, of the intimacy they shared, all because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself.

No he can't have that. He has to protect Bart. From his love. From himself. So he can't tell him. It's the right thing to do. So maybe, just this once, Ed will be unfair. And just one more time, perhaps, he'll be selfish. 

'Why are you looking at me like that?'

Ed's stomach dropped. He was so lost in his thoughts he forgot Bart was angry at him.

'.... like.. like what?' His mouth is dry, he barely managed to say that. But he doesn't sound so pissed anymore. Frustrated maybe. Confused, definitely. 

'I don't know.... but you looked at me like that when you decided to tell everyone how impulsive, and _incompetent_ , and **reckless** you think I am, **IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!"**

'I don't think you're incompetent! - oh but reckless and impulsive are fine??- Yes! You were injured ! We didn't have time to come as back up because you went on your own! It could have been worse!"

They were yelling now and Bart was angry and Ed couldn't blame him, how could he? But he wishes he could just.... _make him_ understand, just tell him how he feels but he doesn't know how to, he doesn't have the words to express how he feels, he can't help it. And it's not fair not to be forthcoming with him but'd be worse if he would dump his feelings on him after what he did. He doesn't see him like that.... So he presses his lips together and bites his bottom lip and drop his gaze to the ground because he just can't bear to look at Bart in the eyes right now. Because if Bart saw how he was looking at him now, he would _know_ and he knows he wouldn't be weirded out or disgusted by the attraction but... he might be disgusted by Ed, who embarrassed him in front of the adults like that, who didn't have his back during the briefing because he was too worried and he just couldn't.... he just...

Ed exhaled. Like he's been in apne for too long. 

"Did you have to say that in front of the adults?"

No. No he didn't. He just couldn't stop himself once it started to pour out of his mouth.

"I would have been fine with hearing you say that in private, or when they were gone but you just had to say that and validate what they were thinking like that in front of everyone. You know they are going to dangle that for a long time and use it again."

He does know that. He regrets it, he does. He just can't find the words to tell him. The right ones to explain why he is so worried. He knows Bart is going to ask him why he is. 

'Why were you so worried anyways? We've been through worse with the Reach!" 

He _knows_ that. But he didn't know _him_ them. He closes his eyes, hoping it will all go away , and that once he opens them again, he'll have the answer ready.

He won't.

" I just want to understand what the hell you were thinking?? - _'that I love you....'-_ I'm tired of everyone bringing Wally up just to make me feel like shit!! - _'I had no right to say that.....'-_ I know we lost him okay?? I'm the one wearing his old suit, so I know - Bart voice cracks and Ed's heart does too - I just didn't think that you, of all people, would use him like that and-

And Bart is silenced.

Ed is kissing him. He's got his hands around his freckled face and their mouths are crashed together. He captured his lips before he could finish his sentence. He was gonna yell at him and ask him why he was so frustrated that Ed confused him, why did he have so much power over him, why it mattered so much how Ed saw him and treated him. Why him, above everyone else - even Jaime - was the one who needed to have his back. And suddenly Ed is not kissing him anymore. He's exhaling. Like he's been holding onto his breath for too long.

Meanwhile Bart is frozen.

"Uh.." is all he can say. His lips are slightly parted, he knows that, but he can't bring himself to close them.

Ed is still cradling his face and it occurs to Bart that he stopped kissing him because the speedster was too shocked to react.

Everything made sense now. Bart understood. He knew why he had an outburst. He knew _why_ now. And he knew why Ed affected him like that. The speedster was looking at the teleporter, searching for more answers, but his eyes were still closed.

You see, once Ed opens his eyes, he'll see Bart's. He'll have to, he won't be able to stop himself from looking at him. How could he not? And Bart will know what he feels. He will know why he looks at him like that. He won't be able to hide his love for him anymore. Not after this. What possesed him to do this? Oh right.... the hurt and sadness in his eyes when he mentionned Wally.... Eduardo couldn't believe he hurt him like that, he knew he didn't have the words to explain, he could feel Bart distancing from him and he couldn't loose him, not like that, and before he knew it, he had grabbed his face and kissed him, hoping that'd make it better..... but how could it? Oh no, now he had to subject himself to the mortifying ordeal of having having his feelings known. He can't face his speedster yet....

Because if he looks at him, Bart will look back. And Ed is afraid of what he'll see in those beautiful green-eyes. They will be questionning he thinks. And that's fair. Of course he'll be confused. But he can't bear the idea that he might be looked at by his love with contempt or rightous anger, or even maybe a little bit of disgust. So maybe he'll be selfish again, one last time, and keep his eyes closed.

If only he knew. If only he'd open his eyes he would see the longing in Bart's own. The understanding. The yearning. He'd know that his hopes, the ones he hid in shame and fear won't be rejected. He would see that he feels the same way. Bart wishes he could think again. Say something. Because God how did he not realise it sooner? Why he couldn't stop from gravitating in the Argentinean's orbit. Why he couldn't help but try and get his attention. Why he was so flustered and nervous at the prospect of hugging him like he does everyone else so instead he nuzzled against his neck and hoped his friend wouldn't feel how fast his heart was beating. Why while injured he couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat because El Dorado just zapped himself to get to him, in front of everyone, and why he felt so warm and safe in his embrace. Why he felt so much more guilty when Ed told him he should've waited for back up before running on his own because he could deal with the flashfam and Batman being worried but not Ed. Now he knew why. How clueless he had been..... It was right in front of him. Just staring back at him with those warm and kind eyes.

If only he could say any of that outloud.....

But he can't.

So instead he takes a stuttering breath, grab the top of the Argentinean's jacket with both hands and crashes his lips onto him. 

But he barely has time to move, change the angle, deepen the kiss before he realise he can't hold back his breath, because it feels like he's been punched in the chest. Who knew kissing could make you feel like you've gulped a breath of fresh air after spending your entire life underwater. So he breathe in........and out, resting his forehead against Ed's.

Eduardo bumps his nose against the time traveller's as he exhale, shuddering, his mouth agape, searching for more but not daring to take it.

"I... -Bart licks his lips, Ed following his movement and closing his eyes, exhaling again- I understand now" he finally says. 

Bart puts his hands on the back of his neck, one hand in his hair, as he moves away from him to speak, Ed following his movement again, but he keeps them mere centimetres apart and finally says "I _know_...." Green-eyes look up to meet warm-brown ones. He nuzzle their noses together and says "I know....." barely above a whisper.

Ed captures his lips, and take his breath away once more.

In the end, being selfish wasn't so bad Ed thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> Bring in an inhaler cause those dumbasses lowkey have asthma. 
> 
> Pepper in the fact that Ed is based off of Spike Spiegel from Cowboy-bee-bop? Check  
> Runaways cameo? Check  
> Ed's iconic gay fashion sense? Check  
> BaRt Is FrOm ThE fUtUrE hE's BeEn ThRoUgHt WoRsE? Check!  
> Unresolved tension with Jaime? Check!  
> DID I MENTION I MISS WALLY??? Check and double check.  
> Grammar mistakes? Obviously, deal with it.
> 
> For those who are wondering, I looked a little bit on the book the goldenfinch and apparently the two kids do not have a good relationship and is not good representation but honestly the quote + the snippet of performance from Finn Whateverhisnameis are what inspired me for this.  
> The kisses are inspired by the ones shared in Gentleman Jack between the protagonist and her lover Ann (there is a gift set somewhere on Tumblr of their noses touches and it's very soft and inspiring okay)  
> Also I read somewhere on tumblr that Ed looks like he suffers from Catholic Guilt tm and that + being gay + the fingerless gloves and the Scarf tm from S2 really makes him a relatable character to me.  
> I 100% headcanon him as someone who would stumble on Hozier and not expect to like this Tall White Man's music but he does because of the ex-catholic undertones and he listens to his songs and think of Bart and is like...... oh shit (oh shit).  
> Also Asami doesn't particularly like anime (sue her) but she loves cowboy bee bop and a couple of other really good ones and she plays video games with the boys and is pretty decent. She and Virgil have a competition going on and he is one place ahead but she's gonna kick his ass next round, because she's gonna bring in Wonder Girl and have her kick his ass cause he'll be too busy being distract by how cool she is. (He's got it bad)


End file.
